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Joe's Midnight Movie Reviews: The Return of the Revenge of the Toxic Mutant 80s Movie!

Today on Misreader, a guest misread by Joe from Pizza Pentagram!

Splash (1984)

Joe's Midnight Movie Review!…

So last night I watched "Splash" (1984) Starting Tom hanks. Daryl Hannah, John Candy, etc… Kinda a sci-fi, Romance, comedy that takes place in New York. This movie is about a mans love affair with a woman that's half fish. Even tho tom hanks is the lead role he's definitely out shined by co star John candy. Candy is only in 40% of the movie and is like an juggernaut. Daryl Hannah is hot. There are some action scenes. I remember liking this movie a lot more when I was younger then recently seeing it. It's ok. I give it two anchovy slices.


The Return of the Living Dead (1985)

Last night I watched a classic.…


This movie is up there with the greats like Godfather, Jaws, Star Wars, to name a few. This movie is no stop action, with an all star cast. Small town gets over run by zombies, due to a chemical gas. Everything comes back from the dead, all hell breaks loose. There's that old guy in it that's in all the Night of The Living Deads. I hear they passed on Brando, good choice. There's that awesome click of punks. One of em gets naked. Prob one of the best climatic ending of all time.

Seriously great B horror movie if ya like zombies with 80s edge.

I gave if four zombie slices.


Top Gun (1986)

Joe's Midnight Movie review!…

Okay so I'm still stuck in the 80s. So what!? Most current movies are just about superheroes an I'm not into that. Anyway, I watched this movie like a couple of weeks ago but was on a flight in some turbulence chop and thought what better movie to what then none other then…


Staring MAVERICK! Look!… I think this movie is really underrated. The shots are insane! It's got dynamic action scenes with jets not in a "I'm a old vet that stays up all night watching the history Chanel all night." Kinda way. All the pilots got call signs! Ever thing takes place in "THE DANGER ZONE" according to the soundtrack. COUGAR! Even characters not flying jets have code names. It's got shower scenes and volleyball matches. GOOSE! The main plot line is to see who's the best pilot. How to be the best, beat the best, best the best, best. My jet faster then your jet. ICE MAN Mavericks nemesis thinks Mavericks too dangerous and ICE MAN chops he's teeth at him cuz he's ice cold. More shower scenes. Maverick gets sassed from he's love affair CHARLIE" Top Gun flight instructor so the rest of Top Gun class doesn't find out that she's madly in love with The MAVERICK. Leading to one of the greatest cinematic love scenes ever. GOOSE dies 😢 MAVERICK doesn't think he can be the best anymore. But comes back in a triumphant return with the bold guy from Back to the future getting stressed out. Maverick shoot down some enemy jets saving ICE MAN. They fly into the sun set. Just a perfectly filmed movie. Great actors. Amazing soundtrack.

I give it 5 missile explosion slices.


Joe is a retired aspiring professional wrestler, writes movie reviews at midnight. Cult clothing maker of PIZZA PENTAGRAM. Follow him on Twitter @PIZZADIEYOUNG and at Many parts of this bio may be false.

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